My cousins- Megan, on the left. ( Or Megs for short.)

                       Jaron, on the right. ( Or Jerry, for short.)

Merry Xmas in advance!

...and this is just the beginning, i guess. 

whats more to come?

furthermore, why am i, like, changing like this?

Is this normal?

Man...

but i feel, like i shld go out n try to socialize by myself in church. i dunno why im feeling like that-its kinda dumb. i guess ill just let time do its thing.

i guess. 

ill pray too.

and hope itll work.

anyway...

man, this whole week has been a whole week of pain. first my finger feels like a rusted nail-next;today, i woke up to find i had slight growing pains. one leg felt longer than the other. so everytime i walked, it ached slightly. well, its better than last time. last time, it was sooooooo painful tt i couldnt move. ow. ah...good night. its 11:59 now. and itll be monday soon....

any moment now...

whoo......

almost...

NOW!

ok, im off to bed and to pray first. night. :|

i guess yesterday was really negative and crappy. ah well, its yesterday's tomorrow, TODAY! And i woke up feeling kinda happy. I guess God heard my sorrowful whining yesterday. I feel loads better today, like if today was saturday, i could just jump in and start being crazy. but og course, i wouldn't do that until i know them well;well, seeing from yesterday, its not something really near. :0 But i'm gonna work on it. :D hehe.

I guess yesterday was actually OKAY, its just that i made a whole big deal out of nothing. i'm actually quite thankful to some of the yf-ers that tried to help me feel welcome. I had better name some. Ah, i don't think any of the yf-ers would read this, so nothing to lose, huh? Ah. Really grateful.

Shermaine, megan, jerry, danny, joey,andrew and...yet again, forgetfulness has struck another victim...oops sorry. aah, no one's gonna read this anyway, so what the heck. ;)

I had better stop listing names- i'm gonna look weird. i mean, weirder. ( man, its like, taking forever to type this stuff.) Toods. :)

ok...the reason behind my self cynicism is probably cos i'm practically furious with myself-so angry that i can knock my head against the wall for being all those names. I mean....uh...ok...time to rewind and backtrack the life track and find out why i'm SO ANGSTY!!!

zip zip zip...

Rewinding.....

please wait....

Ok...so today was the 2nd day of me attending yf. the trouble started when i suddenly felt a wave of shy-ness splashing on me like a tsunami of idiocy! So i spent 10 ABSOLUTELY DUMB MINUTES OUTSIDE THE YF ROOM! Which totally sucked! I really AM SICK OF BEING SHY! ITS DISGUSTING! AND ....oh man...it's like i'm a slave to this torture... so anyway, the moment i summoned up some guts to enter...they all came flooding out....which then i felt like a schmuck.

So i followed some guys here-uh found out later it was to find 2 guys which i forgot...whoops. then in the end, they found them...dunno how... and then.. i sat on this table and uh...someone from the bishan home came along, sat beside me and started talking in cantonese. and i just looked at him, like i was really interested, cos i didnt wanna be mean.  then when i loked in the other direction to look for the rest, he pulled me back and expected me to listen...so after a while, i got off and just followed the rest. then yay...first happy thing of the seemingly cloud of negativity of today! i saw kyran's sis:megan, and she halped me socialize...well...in a way. i just playe captainsball with some of them. i actually was quite good at this in school but because of shyness...i looked like i sucked big time. buuuuut...i got to at least know some more names, which i ,uh...am trying to remember...hmm lets see...

Debbie,Andrew,other Andrew,Danny,Joey,Kok Weng,Shaun,....gah ...Forgot!

Then...ent upstairs where i wa introduced...again. i think people r starting to be sick of me being an idiot,moron,schmuck,goofus and a dweeb. I totally understand.Man... Well. 2nd good thing of this cloud of crap. uh...i met this girl called Shermaine,17 yrs old, and uh she helped me socialize a lil bit more. So i knew a bit more names-all those names above, and nathaniel,valerie,ibob,woong, and uh, ken-something...sorry. then i went home-came back for the musical with russ and my whiny sis. met kyran. the sang some christmas songs after the musical. wow. kyran's dad is really something. W.O.W. :D And uh...after that talked with russ n kyran, then the bus came and we had to cut short our little yf camp chat. then kyran went in and i went home. oh yeah, i'm typing really painfully cos i stubbed my finger against the ball today...but ah, it'll heal. Ah well. i guess i'll pray for some more self confidence. Here's to not being a lion from the wizard of oz...wooh..  :/

P.s. i  really have to change my blog music. its scaring me. like when i was about to play hotel 626 and the adrenaline is soooo pumping, "hakuna matata" blares out from the microphhone and scares me. and just now, "super trouper'' just scared me. ... i'm easily scared. man..

Today's song of the day: It sucks to be me.

But not all the time.Toods.

YAY! i was kinda happ tt russ slept over at my place. first i went down at 9.29 am to bring him upstairs and dump his stuff there. then he texted me saying," can you come down now? i'll be there in 5 minutes." and it was raining and everything. so i sat on the bench and waited for 10 minutes. then i texted back,"last time i checked, 5 minutes didn't take so long". then he called me saying he was waiting at the entrance of the condo cos he didnt know if he was allowed to enter or not. so i laughed and brought him up.

 Brought him upstairs, blah blah blah, then played a bit of his naruto game, ate some breakfast. Then set off the zoo, much to the anger of my whiny sister.Went there, saw siamangs, a false ghavial, then it started raining. so we walked to the white tiger enclonsure. read some stuff. took some pics. pygmy hippo. then we kept seeing all the animals, this time most of them were in plain view. then on some show, the pelican crapped on the place and the penguin swam into it. LOL! then we went to the australian outback and a kangaroo hopped out of the exhibit and wee took some pics beside it. saw a lot of cute joeys. then we went for lunch at KFC. he ate a shrooms burger(a.k.a mushroom burger) and cheese fries. I ate 2 mashed potato and a 3-piece chicken meal. well, 2 piece actually, cos i gave russ a drumstick. and also gave him 1 of the 2 mashed potatoes. so we shared the cheese fries. then went i wanted to renew my sister's chicky club card, the woman looked at me like i just called her "mr shabalabadingdong". SO i said " can i renew my card?" Shabalabadingdong look again. I repeated my line, louder, and an emphasis on the "renew". same look. I was thinking,"don't tell me she's never heard of renewal". Then she said, you want to renew your card, izzit?" AAARGH! THen i was feeling hungry and bought another cheese fries to share. but then i got sick of cheese. then some lady staff there kept staring at russ like a mother would to a long-lost child. then i kept laughing cos she was in a trance. then we set off again to the fragile forest. AAAH! so many HUGE butterflies! the size of my hand. not tt scared of butterflies but they looked so big! so i kept ducking whenever one went by. saw some mousedeers. Then were really cute with doe eyes. but the lemurs freaked me out. their eyes keep staring at you so intensely. then i saw one that looked like out of a happy feet movie, minus the penguins, plus the lemurs. the hair was all messy. i kept laughing at that one. the blue pigeon was scary too. the we took some pics and went off. then russ and i were saying that someone hho got locked in the fragile forest for one night would go insane. i agree. ... creepy. then went to see some crocs. huge and vicious. then we realised we missed an animal show-the elephants. and we were too far to run there. so we went to the critters longhouse. but not before we saw some monkey that had a rainbow for a butt- i'm serious! haha...

In the longhouse, saw a leopard cat- dont ask me for the difference. some squirrels who behaved like meercats. then some animal whose name i forgot. then some bird and then we left. we saw the poar bears. we stayed there to chill first and get out of the rain. talked a bit. went to see something else, i think the tortoises. oh yeah, we saw this huge monster orang utan . it had a massive body like a really fat and shaggy full grown male adult on his elbows and knees. it had a face like a black beehive. minus the pores. then we saw some zookeepers scolding some orang utans for escaping from the enclosure. saw a young one. it was quite hairy already. then we went walking in circles for a while and saw the statue of Ah Meng. It was really vivid. as in all the creases of her fur coat were quite visible. and her eyes were like, wise and all-knowing.ok i better stop, i'm getting all choky thinking about her. Oh yeah, to spoil this sad moment,.... the statue had golden nipples. that looked like pus out of a zit. more ew than pretty if you ask me.

Then went to see some sea lion show. we sat in the front row-the splash zone-but it was raining, so basically everywhere was a splash zone. then russ listened to some melee songs. Then the rain turned into a downpour and the nearby shelter was packed. so we sloshed there in wet shoes and wet clothes to the exit. it was time to go anyway. we were holding umbrellas, if you needed to know. and the trip wasnt that short actually. it just seems short by my blogging. but i dont intend to blog about EVERYTHING. so we went to the gift shop for 10 minutes, ate some ice cream. Mine was cookies and cream. he's was come new york chocollate fudge. took off my shoes to dry them off. so i sat there in some wet black ankle socks. then a peacock walked by and i moved away and left wet footprints. saw a group of japanese girls. they were wearing some checkered skirt and buttoned top with knee socks. kinda cute but taller then the average-height girls i see in school. then we ran to the bus and took it to ang mo kio. took a train to bishan. walked to my grandma's place. had dinner. talked with russ and played with my cousin.then we went back home to bishan loft, bathed, played the psp-2 of them and set up his mattress bed on the floor. But i got really pissed when my sister wasted 2 hours of my sleepover by talking and playing the psp with him. so i yelled at her and my mum made her go to bed since it was already 11.o.clock. then we played a bit more. talked. read comics, used my mac for his msn thing and then it was lights out. by then it was already 1.o.clock. we were feeling drained but not tired. theres a difference. so we chatted abot our prev school. like, there was this teacher who had a face like a bulldog. we used to call her BDF. Bull-Dog-Face. Haha. she was like an old lady. well, she was one. but she was never respected. because she always shouted at people, or growled at them( like a bulldog). so she was my music teacher in primary 1. then when she entered the room, we never listened to her. some people talked loudly. some used handphones. some even played catch! i, uh, played beyblade. you know, that spin-top thing? yeah, it was all the rage during that time. it was so funny to see her in this state but i kinda feel sympathetic for her now. she left the school already, if you're wondering. Then we talked about russ's primary 1 killer teacher. She was like the demon-spawn in-training or something. should be a matador or something. haha...she pinched students and once, when i came to deliver some note to her,she made me go out the room and deliver it to her 5 times, because, guess what? i didn't say her name loud enough, or i knocked the door too soft or some crap reason like that. She was said to have resigned( at what? age 30 plus?!), but i seriously think she was fired.

 then we talked and laughed until our throats were dry and just slept, at 2.30 am. then next day, i woke up at 8 to find him still sleeping and making "mek mek" noises. so i played the psp for half an hour until i went out to eat breakfast. he came out at 9. after eating, we bathed, played a bit more, then ate nasi lemak for lunch, then left downstairs to the exercise place and then, to the playground to do the stone path/foot reflexology thing. it seriously hurt, but since russ was flat-footed, he could run on it, and feel only a little bit of pain. then we went to these stepping platforms by the swimming pool and talked a bit more and dropped our legs into the water and let them swirl. then at 3, we went to the mini-arcade and walked around, went to the reading room, read this treasure bible thing, played psp, drank (for him, miranda orange;for me, mountain dew)))even we were not supposed to)) and played( yes i know, its really bad, but my mum kept the psp already so no worries.) then we went upstairs to watch gorgeous tiny chicken machine show and some random videos, read comics agin, chatted for a short lerioud of time, played a little bit more, then he packed his stuff and i went with him to the bus stop to send him off. then he left and i went to my grandma;s place for dinner. End of sleepover. :)

Separators.

Uh! i went to the orthodontist yesterday to put on separators. for the first few hours, it was a bit uncomfortable, but now it aches cos its shifting my teeth. hopefully i dont need an extraction for my 2 vampire teeth. guh! just one more week...til i get braces. Man.... oh well...time for lunch. Bye! :D

So, being me, king of the sarcasm-mites,which sums it up as sarasMITES. awesome right?  (shows how creative i am.) And also being king of the randoMonsters, or randoMorians if you will, i have been blog-surfing and i've kinda seen how christians who go to church regularly have blogs crammed with church stuff, like lettuce sticking out on a burger. In many ways, it is a good thing.  ...

But...i have only attended youth only once, probably i was away for the next one, and tt it was pre-camp for the next one. n i wasnt attending camp. mum problems. and i couldnt attend the next one cos they would be still in church camp. so i'm going for the next one. which seems pretty far come to think of it.

uh...i think i kinda appreciate being a teen, or pre-teen. since i'm only 13. But...i really need to treasure my youth...or pre-youth. i've seen how bad my grandma's leg paralysis is. And how much hair my granddad's losing. And how many hairs my dad has that is turning uh...platinum-blonde.Go check it out. He envies how fast my head hair grows. And how bad my mum's body feels when she's done the housework. And i have a pretty normal body tt functions as usual. But i have this thing about being young. i like it...so i better make new friends and hope that life moves its foot forward like a tortoise. which is probably why i like Mika's songs so much. It's so youth-y and energetic and young-y. Ah. i'll post a vid so u guys can check it out.

Ps. i have really embarassing memories in my head-which i really wanna erase and slice off like a butcher and piece of meat or a fishguy with a piece of...uh...fish. ok, i better stop with the crazy puns now. uh...i'm gonna drink coffee b4 the next yf and see what happens, cos i'm king of the randoMonsters. Ok... WOrd of the day..is...you guessed it...

"YOUNG"!!!!!!!!!!

 awesome right?

ALright,i'll stop being craz-yyYYYYy. ;D

Have fun listening. :)

Grace kelly. My fave song.

Lollipop, my second fave song.

Uh...i dunno why its not copying. Just click on this link.

Ah i just thought of some funny stuff tt i wanted to blog about. Some conversations that i had when i was in melbourne and one yesterday. Kinda funny,i think.

1)(M,stands for me, T,stands for my aunt)

In singapore.

M:Hey you know we saw uncle daniel?( in melbourne)

T:No.

M:No?

T:NO.

M:Uh, WE saw uncle daniel.

T:OH...i saw him at the lift lobby just now.

M:??? He's in melbourne.

T:Oh...

LALALALALA. ok not that funny,but i'm bored. listening to josiah leming's grace kelly. Aye! :)

I cant even be near  A FREAKING SPARROW WHEN IM SITTING DOWN TO LUNCH!?

this is getting so out of hand. and i think its turning to something really detrimental or something.i dont even think i can go to jurong bird park,without a big group of friends or my family. i always bottle this up from my family. i would share it with my friends.which is kinda bad-cos blood runs thicker than water, and i shld be closer to my family... ... ... .. . oh well. im working on it. 

im also countering my acrophobia. every time i look down from an escalator on the way to the 6th floor and its suspended, like if the escalator shld disintegrate, you cant even reach out to hold the wal cos its so far away, my handz would sweat and i would feel sick ad woozy. i can even see the sticky outlines of my hands on the escalator railing. I obviously cant summon the guts to go bungee-jumping or skydiving. i'll die from fright.

Ah...i hope i can vanquish these gears before i'm a full fledged adult. oh well.IT sucks to be me! From avenue q! LOL :)

I think i'll steal russ's impromptu poem for this post-sorry dude, i owe you one.

I'm back from melbourne.

im pretty sunburned.( which is false of cos, since itwas so cold,)

Saw a lot of magpies.

fire and ice.

Wanted to go to camp.

Mary had a little lamb.

Ah, i better go now.

Ill blog about my melbourne trip another time. oh yeah had a series of wacko dreams during the trip. Ahem ahem.

1) I was going for some news reporting thingy, something like every kid whoever went to ACT 3 international has to go. probably triggered by the news of the mumbai terrorism. So sad...im gonna pray for them..., then,uh, there was this riot right behind my turn cos xinwei,from school, was crying cos his shoes were painted white. major LOL. Wasnt even thinking about him or sota tt day. then i morphed into that 10 brothers guy- the one with the biceps,then started smacking away chinese soldiers, which looked suspiciously like a lot of tan people i know. then i teleported to a time in yf where we had come back from a soccer match. that was cos i was griping abt not being able to go to camp, but i dont get the soccer part. why did i even go?  i dont even like soccer. Then...uh...i woke up.