ok...the reason behind my self cynicism is probably cos i'm practically furious with myself-so angry that i can knock my head against the wall for being all those names. I mean....uh...ok...time to rewind and backtrack the life track and find out why i'm SO ANGSTY!!!

zip zip zip...

Rewinding.....

please wait....

Ok...so today was the 2nd day of me attending yf. the trouble started when i suddenly felt a wave of shy-ness splashing on me like a tsunami of idiocy! So i spent 10 ABSOLUTELY DUMB MINUTES OUTSIDE THE YF ROOM! Which totally sucked! I really AM SICK OF BEING SHY! ITS DISGUSTING! AND ....oh man...it's like i'm a slave to this torture... so anyway, the moment i summoned up some guts to enter...they all came flooding out....which then i felt like a schmuck.

So i followed some guys here-uh found out later it was to find 2 guys which i forgot...whoops. then in the end, they found them...dunno how... and then.. i sat on this table and uh...someone from the bishan home came along, sat beside me and started talking in cantonese. and i just looked at him, like i was really interested, cos i didnt wanna be mean.  then when i loked in the other direction to look for the rest, he pulled me back and expected me to listen...so after a while, i got off and just followed the rest. then yay...first happy thing of the seemingly cloud of negativity of today! i saw kyran's sis:megan, and she halped me socialize...well...in a way. i just playe captainsball with some of them. i actually was quite good at this in school but because of shyness...i looked like i sucked big time. buuuuut...i got to at least know some more names, which i ,uh...am trying to remember...hmm lets see...

Debbie,Andrew,other Andrew,Danny,Joey,Kok Weng,Shaun,....gah ...Forgot!

Then...ent upstairs where i wa introduced...again. i think people r starting to be sick of me being an idiot,moron,schmuck,goofus and a dweeb. I totally understand.Man... Well. 2nd good thing of this cloud of crap. uh...i met this girl called Shermaine,17 yrs old, and uh she helped me socialize a lil bit more. So i knew a bit more names-all those names above, and nathaniel,valerie,ibob,woong, and uh, ken-something...sorry. then i went home-came back for the musical with russ and my whiny sis. met kyran. the sang some christmas songs after the musical. wow. kyran's dad is really something. W.O.W. :D And uh...after that talked with russ n kyran, then the bus came and we had to cut short our little yf camp chat. then kyran went in and i went home. oh yeah, i'm typing really painfully cos i stubbed my finger against the ball today...but ah, it'll heal. Ah well. i guess i'll pray for some more self confidence. Here's to not being a lion from the wizard of oz...wooh..  :/

P.s. i  really have to change my blog music. its scaring me. like when i was about to play hotel 626 and the adrenaline is soooo pumping, "hakuna matata" blares out from the microphhone and scares me. and just now, "super trouper'' just scared me. ... i'm easily scared. man..

Today's song of the day: It sucks to be me.

But not all the time.Toods.