Don't let the awesomeness blind you .

® ¥ å n .

{/megan --

26.1.09 ( 11:27 PM )

Hi everyone..

it's cny today. Everyone is happy. or should be. Everyone should be celebrating and munching cny goodies. But my cousin isnt. My 4 year old cousin is lying in a hospital, tubes sticking into her body. She is in an intensive care unit-and i aint allowed to visit her. But from my mum's teary description of her, i am like, totally crushed to see her so ill. She has a brain tumour- and a fever that thank god, has cooled to a 37 degrees celsius. IT's so heartbreaking. I'm praying for her, and i sometimes feel like breaking down in tears-i mean, i've been taking care of her ever since she was 2 years old-carrying her, playing with her, babysitting her on some days...

For those that are christians that read my blog,i know u might not know her, but please...pray for her. She's still really young.

Life is unfair.

Dammit!

{/Teachers --

21.1.09 ( 10:26 PM )

haha...had yet another hectic day at school... had another round of teachers and uh..maybe a little bit of wierdness. like...

i shall call this teacher "a".

a gives us a booklet full of questions. still okay.

attempt to do it.

find out it is full of questions that are kinda personal.

and even some like, how would u like to die?

WEIRD.

ah... i'm off! bye!

{/Stress --

( 10:13 PM )

Well... i guess school's been pretty okay..if you can exclude the fact that it ends super late...6...it sucks. But its gonna end at 7 next term...man...major tiring. aaargh... the price u pay to be in an arts school. Pretty tiring but i'll survive. :) Ah...some people are already succumbing to school's stressful activities and everything. And guess what. It's only like, the 3rd or 4th week of school. Wow. But i made a promise that i'll never cry over this stress crap, or y know, do something stupid, but i'll push on and get over it. sure, i might be a lil emo now and then, but to the yr 2 sotarians i'll get back on my feet in a day or so, and be all cheery and everything again! :D After all, it's not the end of the world. At least, not yet.

So, everone, say whatever to stress and homework and get on with life. might be hard for some people, but hey, time's everything. Just chill. My piece of advice. :) To anyone who needs this. Alrightey then...

until the day i get trampled by the elephant of stress (hey dont laugh, its impromptu) i can offer a listening ear to anyone, or if needed, a shoulder to cry on..(but i hope no one is depressed enough to use it) :)

right! Cheers! :)

{/Siblings. --

18.1.09 ( 9:05 PM )

Siblings. sigh.

TOday had lunch with nng,abrham,danielle and jiamin. on the journey right, i was venting about being a big bro to clarice. and then nng told me that he wished that he could have done those stuff, like patting a younger sibling to sleep those kind of stuff...

i love claire. but its superdupertrouper hard for me to do that to nicholas. (thinking of it makes me wanna barf too) It's hard to love someone who wants to touch your butt everyday grips your arm for no good reason,switches off the light when ur in the bathroom, hogs the phone, reads through your smses, invades your room, and also when he's your total opposite.

Example:

Ryan: Hey, you went for yf last time right?

Nicholas: Yeah. Why?

Ryan: Why did you quit?

Nicholas: It was boring.

Ryan: It's not boring, you dweeb.

Nicholas: You're very stubborn, you know. church is not everything.

Ryan: Stuff it. I love church. Deal with it.

Or when i try to ignore him for one week, i will get annoyed but then i'll pray for me to stop fighting cos i'm tired of it already. But if i manage to ignore him for a few days, and if he annoys me to the extent i snap a few days later, i go all out like what russ said. All the anger i bottle up comes rushing out like some nine-tailed demon fox, and i'll thrash him. seriously. feel bad when i think of it now. but thats the truth. i need prayer help. :/ Well. I hope i can get rid of this habit.

I love church. Just love it. and everyone in it. But i need help. I can't let it rule my life-in the bad way. I can't neglect my everything for that-crazy as it sounds. I need prayer help. I need help from Christ. I need help.

"Teenager effects" are starting to kick in about now. I-wanna-just-be- just- cool ryan mode. AAAAAAaargh.

Help.

{/CNY preps --

16.1.09 ( 5:42 PM )

{/Podcast!! --

12.1.09 ( 8:51 PM )

Podcast!! (this is supposed to be said in tat incredibly annoying squeaky voice.)

I have ta do this for school-how incredibly superdupertrouper-ly incredible!( my new word! :))

hmm.... lately...i've been basing stuff on church...

hmm.

that probably doesnt make any sense so i'll rephrase that.

Like, some average , bad,stuff at school. i've been, sorta, weirdly, instinctively linking it to church.

Hmm..for some reason, i've been saying "hmm" lotsa times, but well..anyway.

Like, for that orientation thingamajiggy at school,i purposely became all lively cos i thought...

i knew the feeling of being shy. it sucked, frankly. so i went all friendly to them. and i probably worked. i guess.

and today, we had to form our own groups... and i was in daniel's, ian's, sam's group, and enoch got left out and kept emo-ing, and ian and daniel had to leave, to let enoch in. (he's a bit of a lone wolf). Then,first, i got super man at him, for being so demanding. then i was ranting and all, and then i had this thought, ...its a bit queer, ..but... would i have liked it if i was in enoch's shoes in church?

obviously not.

so i stopped, told him we could just let the matter rest, and do the project, and he got all normal again. thank the lord for a sudden boost of uh....self-discipline or something like that. hehe,

hmm.

{/Yf outing --

11.1.09 ( 5:18 PM )

YAY! yesterday was a yf outing to bishan park-so in the morning, went to j8 for some piano thing-saw danny on the bus, then yaddahaddah church. stoned outside the clubhouse-to every newbie in the world-being new sucks, cos u feel like a st0ne. so i stood against a pillar, and looked sideways for 20 minutes until... yeah anyway.

then, alot of people got stuck in the lift. haha. kept snickering bout that one cos i almost entered it. heard it was spicy-hot inside.. haha. then took a bus to bishan park, then had singspiration, then QT. I had QT with timmy, and was asking lotsa questions..then played captainsball, and i as usual, stoned, but this time, i kept grinning like an idiot, cos everyone kept laughing at sarah..haha..:D

Then, i didnt feel like playing frisbee so i sat on the grass and just talked a bit to joey,danny,nicholas...then uh...kept eating the cheddar chips, then i laughed again and again cos joey called the shirtless guys playing soccer "bears" and danny called them "spartans" and i kept snickering..hehe..then talked a lil about school.. then had to pack up and i carried the drink-y thingy to the bus stop. actually i had to take the frisbee too, but gregory helped take it. huh. so then at the bus stop, jerry asked me if i knew all the yf-ers..and "quized" me on their names..huh. then took bus 54 back-after what seemed like an eternity. then went to church for a minute-b4 going back for dinner. the day was good. the fellowship was great. And the outing was awesome! ono! :)

{/3rd day --

6.1.09 ( 7:46 PM )

well, today was the 3rd day of school...it was pretty okay in the morning...

then..

well..stuff happened.

i could vent and blog about today's crappiness in this blog.

I could.

But i'm not.

First of all, they aren't going to read this, so why bother?

I don't need to vent by blogging. I have proper friends that i can talk to.

ANyway, i have yf this saturday, probaby one of the few rays of sunshine in this storm of crappiness.

Saturday will come.

Quickly, i hope.

Waiting sucks.

Please survive til saturday..pleazzze....

K bye..

{/Part 2 --

4.1.09 ( 7:05 PM )

so im fine now-eyes back to normal, and hand is de-pained. so... yaddahyaddah i was partner with gregory.. yaddah.. then for some strange reason(which i still don't understand) we just stood there, and became a signboard that said," Please step on our balloons". so, a minute later, our balloon popped. Eh...wel, maybe i have to know 'em better first... wii.

Then filled up some listing form or something like that , then nng stuck a balloon down y neck, which i "nh!" like some strange..animal. well. anyway. went to the rooftop, and just hanged there. drank juice. went high. start hyperventilating and laughing for no reason, then showed nng and jon lee and andrew the gorgeous tiny chicken machine video... hahahaha... then i talked with kinyip, and met um... a few more people..who i forgot the names..i remember one was rachel... i must ask 'em next week.. and then i had to go home, so....i went home larh, duh..

Next day-today, i went for service in the morning, and was almost late...so we started off with the story of this guy called john franklin who was going for an arctic expedition. but he brought stuff and wore stuff that made him ook like he was going for a cruise in hawaii, (which is my interpretation), and then he and his crew died, i think, and then the pastor... ... told us if we were prepared, unlike that john franklin dude. then he went on to something about like accepting the bad news first, then can we accept the good news...which in christianity , it means accepting judgement from god, ( "bad" news), and the deliverance from sin. (goodie news).

Well, i might be wrong, so please correct me if i'm wrong..

so anyway, after the service ended, i went for some refreshments, met up with shermaine.. then we talked a lil, then she talked with someone else, and then, suddenly, i felt really dizzy and woozy, like i was dehydrated or something. i was drinking something then, so i felt really drained. then i told shermaine, and then i sat on the chair outside the clubhouse. then i felt really bad for using up her time... then jerry came.. and shermaine told him i felt dizzy... (lack of air larh i think, that place was pretty crowded) then shermaine said something about him being a mum-killer...oh... now i geddit, then i kept laughing, cos they were like, making some jokes or something, then i got free massage, on my shoulders...which i actually felt better afterwards...then shermaine told jerry about nng's blog link of her being a p*********, and we were laughing.... icant believe im one f the younger ones there... so anyway, shermaine left, and uh...zhiwen..i think...came.. and a girl passed him a small box.. a present... and then jerry asked if it was underwear.. i thought so too actually.. so i kept laughing and laughing... then he went to get some food, and i just sat there, stoning, and realised i was late for yd, rushed down, and then watched a video of the christians in china, which led some really crappy lives, for the sake of following in christ, and was pretty impressed by their faith...then amos came...from camp fruity.. and i remembered everything, like, the bad stuff... and then yd ended, and i went out...saw megan and kyran, and jon lee, and kinyip, and um.....others... then i had to go home, i hope i can go for lunch or dinner with them next time or something... wooh. next week's games..

hopefully, i can interact better. ..

cheers! :)

{/camp echo --

3.1.09 ( 8:24 PM )

yf today was good...i guess ill blog 1/2 of it today, the rest tomorrow, cos m eyes hurt...pray im not going blind...pls.... dont mind if some words r not ropery typed...try to uess what they mean..

so i met jon lee outside church and andrew was there too, so i just followed them to the bus stop by the braddell and took a bus to serangoon cicus and walked there. then i just hanged there while they saw some yf-ers and just satood there awkwardly and then went to the chapel, saw charmaine, talked with her, then we moved to the middle of the chapel, met someone called kinyip... guh have a headahe now.shoot. then we had sinspiration, went through some verses, like the salt and the earth, and....urgh...headache..., uh, our faith in god, and uh...minds a blank now, sorry...then we prayed in mini-groups, twice, i tried to make mine sound a bit longer, and more meaningful,,

then uh we had games...first was charades, it waspretty okay, next was tie a balloon around an ankle of someone of the same gender and height and walk around stepping on the balloons game. my partner was gregory...urgh cant concentrate bye bye blog tomorrow pray for me pls...aaargh..

{/Blurbler. --

2.1.09 ( 8:22 PM )

Eh..today school offiially started! i'm year 2 now! which meant i am a senior now!

Today we met back in school and there were a lot of hugging and happiness and laughter..

then we met our new teachers, ours was mr eugene chan and our vice mentor is mr khairol! Yay! then we had orientation, and we had to be nice and friendly to the new year ones...quite okay lah..so i was enthu for it. kind of like going for yf, this time the roles are switched around..heh heh. :).

So anyway, we met up with our small group of year ones. they were all girls, which was fine with me. so we had this mini-name-getting-to-know-each-other thing. so i was like,"yo, i'm ryan".

Then, they were all neutral. pfft. they were okay lah.

Then we played ultimate frisbee and i guess they were really welcomed or something, and they got bit confident around us. They called lip "uncle" and "a-ed" me around. and someone conversation went like this.

Me-R

Girls-G

G: A you ! We have something to ask you.

R:Wah..A ah? A somemore lah..(teasing expression)

G: Aiyah forgot your name lah...

R:Its just 4 letters. R-Y-A-N. Ryan.

G: We want to get $2 from him, for the 4 of us. Lets just say he owes us...

R:Owes you guys ..what? ...

G:Aiyah, he just owes us lah..

R: Yeah. What??

G: Aiyah (obsession with 'aiyah' here) Use your common sense larh...

R:Ahah, look who's talking, you want him to pay you back $2 cos he owes you ... nothing.

G: Just go...or else u have to pay us for him...

R:Fine fine, ( since its their first day here, wouldnt be good if i like, ditch them or anything, so humor them lorh..

R:Hey lip, the girls want $2 from you, cos you owe them, now don't get shocked, brace yourself, ...NOTHING.

End of conversation.

then Cara told me that they called her "short" and "year one"

And to lip, " uncle" and some other thing.

And to me "Oi!" and " stoopid".

So i was like never mind lah, year ones new to the school ,wouldnt lok good if i stormed up to them and scold the crap outta them, so let the matter rest horh? Besides, i'm sure we were pretty annoying last time.

In the end, she agreed with me, and we bit our lips, and had to bear with it for another few more hours...

Truth be told, it wasn't that bad, actually.Alright, cheers! :)

Woohoo, there's yf tomorrow, and i can go to service every sunday now! Really hppy.

Alright, bye... :)

{/2009! --

1.1.09 ( 12:48 AM )

Wooh! another year ha passed, leaving behind all those sad, painful memories, well, all except one. I'll never forget him. He was a really great teacher. sigh...

Oh well, looking forward to 2009, wooh!

Knock knock!

Who's there?

Panther!

Panther who?

Panther's not here, i'm going swimming!

Knock Knock!

Who's there?

Orange!

Orange who?

Orange, a tasty citrus, with a sectioned pulpy interior, and sweet acidic juice!

PEACE!

~As quoted from Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Show! Check it on youtube.

2009!!! :D